⚠ hypnagogic phase is not a strictly nsfw blog but contains nsfw paggees that e labele recordingly please read triggers below and proceed with caution .
   this blog may be triggering to you . i am transgender , autistic , mentally ill , and asexual (lol) and sometimes this isn't something i'm happy with . i don't wish i was a different person , but navigating society as myself is often very distressing , causing me to talk about these things in a negative light . i have been pretty negatively affected by a lot of toxic positivity online , so i find it important to share my experiences , on the off chance they help someone else feel seen . distress because of youor identity should not be a reason to want to change yourself , but a reason to want to change the world .
i will label all triggering material at the top of the page , a well as for each individual post on the blog . if this system is distressing for your , or if you are distressed by any unlabeled material , please email me at hypnagogicphase@protonmail.com
   triggering topics this blog may include: disordered eating ( ana/mia ) , body dysmorphia + dysphoria , self harm , dissociation , (fear of) abandonment , drug use + addiction , anxiety attacks , depressive episodes , delerium , mania , hallucinations , intrusive thoughts , suicidal ideation , blood , body horror , hospitals , needles , injury + illness , ⚠

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   cyan bookkeeper
   (noun)
1. a scared , buglike girlboy who loves loud music and his computer .
"cyan bookkeeper seems distressed today, but then again, when isnt she ?"
2. the webmaster here .
"ive heard this site is run by cyan bookkeeper . no wonder it stinks so bad !"

hello there websurfer ...
    welcome to my webhaven . having a website has been a constant in my life for a while , and i've been hosting here on neocities for a few years . i took up blogging because the format of modern social media began to make me feel suffocated and upset . i've webmastered three websites before the inception of this one , but i always ended up deleting them . the lengths between posts would grow , and my sites would begin to reflect a broken portrait of my life, rather than the fluid , collage-like structure i wanted my blog to have . i think i'm finally ready to be consistant
    i enjoy blogging / journaling, drawing , making movies, radio djing, making music , taking photos , making lists , and recording information . expect all of these things and possibly more in the near future . especially lists . expect lots of lists . this webpage is pretty barren right now . expect the right bar , as well as my sitemap ( found in webhaven ) , to update often ... check back occasionally to see whats new !!
    this site is hand designed by me. if you want to make a site like mine, or are just wondering where something is from, a whole list of resources used for this site will be made avalible in the webhaven section soon !